Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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