You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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