i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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