I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
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we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
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Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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