I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize