This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize