i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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