How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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