He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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