isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize