she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
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