Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize