He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Yo dont text me then not text me
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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