I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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