I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize