i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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