So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
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Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
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I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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