In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
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