It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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