My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize