Texts From Last Night

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  (216): View more from Ohio

  ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?

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  (216): ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex? http://tfl.nu/h39u
  Replies (30) Good night (637) Bad night (4657) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I think you know the answer.

  (248): View more from Michigan

  How can I marinade myself in Vodka?

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  (248): What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks. (810): I think you know the answer. (248): How can I marinade myself in Vodka? http://tfl.nu/cvlx
  Replies (12) Good night (3768) Bad night (611)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas

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  (251): I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas http://tfl.nu/8b13
  Replies (10) Good night (726) Bad night (3599) Order T-Shirt
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.

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  (269): when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way. http://tfl.nu/230k
  Replies (16) Good night (7197) Bad night (864)
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  (530): View more from California

  dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often

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  (530): dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often http://tfl.nu/lo0b
  Replies (10) Good night (4367) Bad night (660) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.

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  (818): Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right. http://tfl.nu/8nul
  Replies (37) Good night (5915) Bad night (1337) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.

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  (814): i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him. http://tfl.nu/dwt7
  Replies (2) Good night (1760) Bad night (682) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."

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  (859): He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for." http://tfl.nu/4ze1
  Replies (8) Good night (2269) Bad night (702)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.

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  (631): I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion. http://tfl.nu/lz1m
  Replies (6) Good night (1272) Bad night (622) Order T-Shirt
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever

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  (720): My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever http://tfl.nu/wkge
  Replies (6) Good night (3163) Bad night (512)
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  (+49): View more from Germany

  we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!

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  (+49): we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?! http://tfl.nu/7d9u
  Replies (8) Good night (2215) Bad night (410) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you

  (571): View more from Virginia

  Bonus points are bonus points regardless

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  (973): Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you (571): Bonus points are bonus points regardless http://tfl.nu/vyof
  Replies (10) Good night (982) Bad night (928)
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  (+32): View more from Belgium

  You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...

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  (+32): You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep... http://tfl.nu/47cg
  Replies (2) Good night (864) Bad night (191) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.

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  (973): I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut. http://tfl.nu/9z43
  Replies (2) Good night (961) Bad night (226) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals

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  (330): i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals http://tfl.nu/vtga
  Replies (1) Good night (638) Bad night (210) Order T-Shirt

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