I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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