Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize