i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
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We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
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I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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