Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
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We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
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I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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