well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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