Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize