Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Are these your boobs on my camera?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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