They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
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Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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