Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize