I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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