I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
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We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
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All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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