if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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