his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Im part way to drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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