Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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