she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize