Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize