I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
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Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
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Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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