tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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