only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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