Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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