Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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