new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
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She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
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Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
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