I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize