Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize