I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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