to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize