is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Dear god my vagina.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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