So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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