just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
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